WHEN RESOLVING ISSUES


MEMORY VERSE: Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8

BIBLE IN ONE YEAR: 1 Kings 14-18

Misunderstandings are inevitable in human relationships. When they occur, those involved should seek to resolve it as soon as possible. When the people involved sit to resolve the issue, they must be solution-focused. They must seek to save and strengthen the relationship not bring the other party down or make them feel guilty. The conversation should be geared not at apportioning blames. Only words that will build each other up according to their needs should be used. Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” Also, those involved should try to understand what the other person needs.The parties involved must resist the temptation to bring up previously confessed offences; drag up other people in; use wisecracks about people’s weight, height, colour, IQ, physical, mental and emotional limitations; or bring up totally unrelated things that could cloud the issue. All these keep one from finding a solution. Shouting or raising one’s voice in order to intimidate and manipulate other party is a no no.

Whilst trying to resolve a misunderstanding, the individuals involved must seek a solution not a ‘victory’. Calling each other names and ‘diagnosing’ others only make things worse. The focus should not be on what the other person did or what the other person did not do, but on what you can do together to resolve it. The individuals involved should admit their own flaws- where they went wrong, and ask forgiveness immediately. It takes two to tango , acknowledging our own imperfections makes it easier for someone else to acknowledge theirs. Every time you take a “swing” at someone, offer them a positive “stroke”. Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” For each of the difficulties addressed, a compliment must be given. A good one could be, “I am sure this wasn’t easy for to you hear. Thanks for listening to me so graciously.” Being solution-focused gives people something to live up to, not down to!

NOTE: Trying to score points off each other does not help resolve issues. Allowing each other to make their points without being interrupted is very good.

twitter@BroOluwatoki

Bro Samuel | Reaching the world for Jesus.

A born again Christian. I love reading, watching my favorite team play, and meeting new people.

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